


Cinch

by ieatboyss



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, Final Fantasy XII
Genre: Advent Children minus geostigma, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clack, Fix-It, I don't think I'm asking for much, I just want them to be alive and gay and happy, M/M, no beta we die like men, zakkura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29790516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ieatboyss/pseuds/ieatboyss
Summary: “Embrace your dreams, and, whatever happens, protect your honor as SOLDIER.” The voice sent a shiver of painful familiarity down Cloud's spine. “Well, okay, you never made SOLDIER...but it’s what’s in here that counts.”Cloud swallowed past the tightness he in his throat, pushing aside the familiar sting behind his eyes as tears began to form. He had dreams about Zack but that’s all they were, dreams. This was different. He was awake and in the middle of a fight that was not only to save his own life, but to save the planet. He had no idea what was happening but he didn’t care. There was only one thing Cloud cared about.“Zack,” he whispered. His voice cracked, making the disbelief and hopelessness audibly evident.“Well, you need a hand with him?” Zack asked. He did his best to sound relaxed and unconcerned about what was transpiring, hoping Cloud would believe the act.“Yes.”
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Kudos: 2





	Cinch

**Author's Note:**

> ***This is a fix-it/alt version of Advent Children. There is no Geostigma***
> 
> (Just in case it's not clear, anything in italics is either a memory or heard in their head)
> 
> FYI- I don't have a beta reader. I've proofread this more than once and I'm tired of reading it tbh. If there are a flurry of mistakes just pretend like there isn't. I fully intend on coming back and cleaning this up after I give my mind a break from it.

“Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away.” 

Levitating in the sky, Sephiroth smirked and watched Cloud fall to his knees, heavily bleeding and in pain. Once their eyes met, Sephiroth descended down upon him. The faces of the people Cloud loved flashed before his eyes in succession.

_Aerith_

_Tifa_

_Marlene_

_Denzel_

_Zack_

One face lingered longer than the others.

When the images stopped, saving Zack’s smile for last, he opened his eyes.

Too focused on the pain radiating throughout his body, Cloud didn’t immediately notice his surroundings had changed.

He tensed and lifted his head when he felt a presence behind him. Everything around him was white, even the ground. If he didn't feel the ground beneath his feet he would assume he was floating in nothingness. It should have been terrifying but it wasn't, it was oddly peaceful. Since the events that took place in Hojo’s lab, his mind was a fragile thing that had a tendency to do what was necessary to protect his psyche. The sudden change of environment suggested he had involuntarily disassociated from his current situation in an attempt to ease the pain of what was about to happen.

“So what if it looks hopeless,” a very familiar voice said, nonchalantly. 

The voice Cloud had longed to hear spoke from behind him. His eyes widened slightly and his breath caught in his chest but he didn’t dare turn around.

“If it were me, I still wouldn’t give up.” The confident tone was the same as he remembered, cocky, and inspiring. 

Cloud continued to kneel, frozen in place by disbelief. He lowered his head and focused on the ground, which was suddenly covered in familiar looking yellow flowers. 

He could hear Zack lift his sword and could picture him holding it in front of him the way he used to while giving the cadets pep talks before leaving on a mission.

“Embrace your dreams, and, whatever happens, protect your honor as SOLDIER.”

The air shifted as he lowered sword to his right side.

“Well okay, you never made SOLDIER...but it’s what’s in here that counts.” His leather glove creaked as he gestured towards himself with his thumb. 

Cloud hesitated, doing his best to swallow past the tightness in his throat and push aside the familiar sting behind his eyes as tears began to form. 

“Zack,” he murmured. The single word was laced with so much hopelessness and longing, it was impossible to hide. 

“Well, you need a hand with him?” Zack asked with as much positivity he could muster, praying Cloud believed the act. 

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Cloud finally spoke.

“Yes,” he whispered.  
  
  


***********

**  
  
**When Aerith told Zack the planet once again needed Cloud’s help to stop Sephiroth, he smiled to himself knowing that if anyone could do it, it would be his Spike. Aerith saw right through the facade and frowned. Cloud had been struggling with depression for a while and it appeared to be getting worse. They kept an eye on him, as much as possible from the in-between place they lingered, but what they saw worried them.

After getting his memories back Cloud hadn’t quite been the same. Well he hadn’t been the same since Nibelheim, but the Cloud Zack knew and the Cloud Aerith knew might as well have been separate people. Despite that, they could see how much he struggled with all that had happened, with all the memories he had regained, and all the ones he knew he still hadn’t.

At first, Zack was hurt when he realized Cloud had forgotten him. He accepted his death with a smile, knowing his last words would make an impact. 

Cloud would be his living legacy, proof that he existed. He would live for both of them. 

Zack hoped the feelings he had for him would somehow help guide him as the mako poisoning faded but that wasn’t the case. Occasionally, when loneliness threatened to overwhelm him, he considered the possibility his feelings for Cloud weren’t mutual. If Cloud felt as strongly for him as he did for Cloud it would have been impossible to forget him right? You don’t just forget about someone you care about, someone you love.

Those thoughts were always fleeting and he immediately chastised himself for even thinking them. It wasn’t fair to Cloud, not after everything they had been through over the years.

The afterlife had a funny way of making you see common sense and reasoning. 

Angeal called out to him as he took his final breath. Zack took his hand without hesitation, eager to reunite with the man he considered a second father. Despite how badly he wanted to stay to protect Cloud, Zack knew it wasn’t an option. The amount of blood he had lost put a stop to that train of thought.

Once reunited with his former mentor, Zack was given a choice. Angeal knew him well enough to know what choice he would make. Aside from his inability to stay still and his overall happy go lucky nature, Zack was a lot like him when he was younger. When given the same choice Angeal would have chosen Genesis which is why he knew what Zack’s answer would be.

Angeal thought Zack would ask him a million questions about the afterlife. Instead, he was greeted with a smile and uncharacteristic silence.

After taking Angeal’s hand and closing his eyes, Zack found himself in the middle of a meadow tucked in between large trees, seemingly deep in a forest. The ground was littered in a variety of brightly colored flowers which immediately made his heart ache. 

_Aerith_.

The sound of a creek or river emanated from between the trees to his left.

“Angeal—“ Zack started to speak but stopped when the man raised a hand to silence him.

“I don’t have time to answer the questions I’m sure you have, Zack.”

“But—” Zack’s protest died in his throat when his eyes landed on a familiar figure standing behind Angeal, partially concealed by the trees.

“Genesis!” Zack yelled, tensing and clenching his fists at his sides.

Angeal sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before glancing over his shoulder. “I told you to wait over there! We don’t have the time to deal with this!” he snapped.

Genesis said nothing as he raised his hands in surrender, slowly turned, and disappeared into the trees.

“What— How did—“ Zack did his best to form a coherent sentence but was too shocked to do so.

“Shut up and listen to me for once, Zack,” Angeal said in a familiar tone. It was the tone he used when Zack was in deep shit. Dead or alive, Zack knew better than to interrupt.

“Yes, you are dead. Yes, you’re technically supposed to return to the lifestream but it’s not always as straightforward as we assumed. I don’t have time to explain the intricacies.”

Even if he didn’t fully understand what was being said, Zack nodded to show he was listening.

“The water you’re hearing, that’s the lifestream. You go over there, get in, and cross over to the so-called ‘other side.’ What happens next? I don’t know. I’ve been waiting for you.”

Zack’s eyes widened and his lips parted to speak but they snapped closed quickly when Angeal silenced him with a look.

“I was alone when I got here, there was no one to guide me. As I approached the lifestream I could see you and Genesis and Sephiroth, the people I cared about...despite what happened. I didn’t want to leave you behind and somehow the lifestream knew that. I was given a choice and it’s the same choice I’m offering you. You can stay here and watch over your cadet using the lifestream,” Angeal paused.

Zack stared down at the ground and shuffled from foot to foot. He wanted to ask Angeal exactly how much the lifestream allowed him to see but thought better of it.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know whether or not his former mentor saw how tight he held Cloud’s limp form every night, or how he ran his fingers through his soft, gravity defying, hair to relax. He didn’t want to know if Angeal saw the way he cried with Cloud in his arms, whispering promises and declarations, begging him to say something then breaking down further when Cloud remained silent.

Some things are better left unsaid. 

“—or you can come with me to the other side. I have no idea what awaits us but I think we’ll get to stick together.”

“You...you waited for me? Did...did you know when I’d die?”

“No, I didn’t.”

Zack’s brow furrowed with confusion. “Then why—”

“You trusted me, you looked up to me, and I failed you. I left you alone when you needed me the most. I should have been there to protect you from Shinra and from Sephiroth. I wasn’t going to leave you again.”

When Zack’s eyes welled with tears, he looked away.

“I’m not going to ask whether or not you’re staying. I know you well enough to know your answer.”

“Yeah, you do,” Zack chuckled in between sniffles. 

To Zack’s surprise, Angeal closed the gap between them and pulled him in for a tight hug. Caught off guard, Zack tensed momentarily before quickly returning the hug. Angeal pulled away and roughly placed his hands on Zack’s shoulders. 

“You accomplished your dreams, you became a hero. You died with honor and I’ve never been prouder. We’ll see each other again.”

With one last squeeze and a small smile, Angeal released Zack.

Zack roughly wiped the tears from his eyes as he watched Angeal retreat into the trees where a very impatient Genesis was waiting. Their eyes met once Angeal walked past him towards the lifestream. Instead of following him, Genesis paused to leave Zack with some parting words.

“Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus, and take it to the sky. Ripples form on the water's surface. The wandering soul knows no rest,” Genesis called out, smirked, then followed Angeal to the other side.

Zack huffed and shook his head. He placed his hands on his hips and glanced around his new home for the foreseeable future.

“I miss you already Spike, but I better not see your ass around here any time soon,” he said to himself as he walked towards the trees in search of a way to watch over Cloud the way Angeal had for him.

***********

Zack quickly learned that time was not a concept in the in-between where he was lingering. He thought he’d be bored with nothing to do but watch over Cloud until they reunited. He was never bored but he was miserable. He had no choice but to watch as Cloud lost himself and his memories. 

When Aerith died, he left the stream’s edge and ran to the clearing. The moment she appeared he nearly tackled her.

“I’m so sorry, Aerith. I’m so sorry,” he whispered. He buried his face into her neck and cried. She giggled and ran her hand through his hair until he calmed down. 

“What do you have to be sorry for, silly?”

Zack released her and leaned back until he could look into her eyes. Even though she had just died, _she_ was comforting _him_. There was not a flicker of sadness in her expression, only concern, and affection. He had no idea how she was so strong.

“I told you I’d come back and I didn’t. I tried to get to Midgar with Cloud but things didn’t go as planned, obviously,” he sighed.

“Oh, I knew you died.”

Zack's brow furrowed with confusion. “You...you did? How?”

“We have a lot to talk about don’t we?” Aerith smiled, took his hand in hers, and walked towards the lifestream.

  
  


***********

  
  


Cloud kneeled down, picked up the rusted buster sword, and slammed it into the dirt where it stood as a makeshift grave marker. He stared down at the sword as if Zack was standing in its place.

“I said I’d live out both our lives. Easy to make that promise,” he mumbled.

He reached out to rest his hand on the sword, as if touching it could somehow connect him with it’s previous owner. The moment his fingers wrapped around the familiar hilt, he was hit with a flurry of memories, a majority of them he would have preferred to forget.

_Silver hair and a blade through his abdomen._

_Pain radiating throughout his body when he collided with the ground._

_Someone calling out to him, voice strained and laced with an equal amount of pain._

_A warm hand gripping his._

_Soft lips pressed against his knuckles._

_A worried face distorted through a haze of green._

_Sad smiles._

_One sided conversations._

_Optimistic plans._

_Anxious mako infused eyes._

_Strong arms around his waist._

_Warmth against his back._

_Tears that weren’t his._

_A yellow truck._

_Roughly mussed hair._

_An extended hand and a silent plea._

_Rain._

_Blood._

_Legacies._

_A smile, frozen in place._

Tears welled in his eyes, but before they could fall, a voice he wished he could forget echoed in his mind.

_“Don’t pretend you're sad. Why tremble with anger that's not even there? Face it, Cloud. All you are is an empty puppet.”_

  
  


***********

  
  


_“_ Ugh,” Zack groaned and roughly threw himself into the grass next to where Aerith sat. “He’s miserable! All the memories he has are connected to that sick fuck Hojo or that fucking traitor Sephiroth!”

“Language,” Aerith scolded.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “He’s just....he doesn’t remember any of the time we spent together before Nibelheim. If he did he might not be so...so damn sad.”

“Hmm,” Aerith hummed and patted him on the shoulder reassuringly, lost in thought.

“What do you mean ‘hmm?’ What are you thinking about? You only make that noise when you’re up to something.”

“Well, I’ve been able to reach out to him a few times in his sleep. Of course he wakes up thinking it was a dream, but there’s still a connection.”

Zack sat up so fast Aerith nearly fell backwards. He placed his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

“You what!? You spoke with him? How? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Aerith chuckled at the shocked and affronted look on his face. “I didn’t think it would work and I didn’t want you to get your hopes up. Besides, you’re not an Ancient so I don’t think you’ll have the ability to reach out to him like I can.”

“Oh,” Zack sighed, releasing Aerith’s shoulder and laying back down.

“But, I have an idea.”

  
  


***********

_Zack’s heart skipped a beat when he rounded the corner of the hallway and saw a cadet slumped over, leaning against one of the walls. The floor he was on was deserted due to how late it was._

_The only reason he was still in the building was because Lazard wanted several reports on his mission to Wutai on his desk before morning._

_He was beyond exhausted and wanted nothing more than to get to his apartment, shower, and sleep. For a fraction of a second he considered leaving the cadet in the hallway to fend for himself but his conscience wouldn’t allow it._

_The cadet’s had a strict curfew. Failing to abide by it would result in a variety of consequences, depending on the commander. Whoever was underneath the helmet was in bad shape and any type of punishment they were going to receive the following day was going to be bad._

_Zack crouched down next to the small man and squeezed his shoulder gently. “Hey buddy, we should get you out of the hall,” he said quietly._

_The helmet tipped towards him slightly and a familiar voice whispered groggily, “Z-Zack?”_

_The confused look on Zack’s face made it clear he had no idea who was under the helmet. Zack not recognizing him hurt more than the punch he took to the side of the face and he wasn’t sure why. He immediately chastised himself once he realized the reason Zack couldn’t recognize him was because of his helmet._

_Doing his best not to wince, Cloud slowly removed his helmet and set it on the ground next to him. Zack’s eyes widened in recognition._

_“Cloud? What—” Zack paused. His eyes scanned Cloud’s face, accessing his injuries. Cloud physically forced himself not to squirm under the intensity of the First Class’s stare._

_“What the hell happened?” Zack’s brow furrowed with an expression Cloud couldn’t quite place._

_He lifted his hand as if to touch Cloud’s bruised cheek but thought better of it and lowered it to his side._

_”Why are you all the way up here? This floor is reserved for SOLDIER. The only thing up here is our offices and training facilities.” Zack looked to the left and then the right to ensure they were alone._

_Cloud stared down at his hands and didn’t respond, at least not at first. Zack brought his hand to his chin and tipped his head up until their eyes met._

_“What happened?” Zack asked, his tone much softer than before. If Cloud didn’t know any better he’d think Zack was concerned. He must have hit his head a lot harder than he thought he did if his mind was even entertaining that thought._

_Cloud bit his bottom lip, gathered his thoughts, and debated how much he wanted to disclose. He hated looking weak, especially in front of Zack, and there was no way to explain what happened without doing so._

_“Uh...one of the guys in my squad said a few things that pissed me off so I punched him. I got a few good hits in before some of his friends showed up. I must have blacked out because the last thing I remember was being in the barracks.”_

_Cloud glanced over Zack’s shoulder to stare out the large window. He sighed when he saw how dark it was outside._

_“One of them must have access up here or know someone that does. You can’t get in or out of here without a keycard or a code. They probably thought you’d be locked up here all night and miss curfew,” Zack sighed._

_“I’m screwed either way,” Cloud mumbled._

_He tried to sit up but hissed when the ribs on his left side screamed in protest thanks to the kick he received before blacking out._

_“What did they say that pissed you off enough to start a fight even though you were outnumbered?” Zack asked, curiously._

_Cloud would rather hobble to the nearest bathroom and drown himself in the sink than repeat what was said to him but he had a feeling Zack wouldn’t stand by and watch him do it._

_After Modeoheim they didn’t see each other much but when they did, Zack’s fondness for the blonde didn't go unnoticed. The admiration and reverence Cloud had for the older boy was obvious to everyone...except Zack._

_The few times they were both in the same place at the same time they’d grab food and hang out. On the rare occasion they both had time off, Zack trained him._

_Naturally, rumors spread._

_Cloud had heard rumors about himself of course but he brushed them off. He was used to people talking about him behind his back when they thought he couldn’t hear, or maybe they knew he could and just didn’t care. It was nothing he hadn’t dealt with in the past._

_However, in the past the whispers and taunts would be about him, and only him, not about anyone he cared about._

_He was walking into the barracks, when the older man in his squad, Rogers, approached him._

_“Strife, right?” the larger man asked, towering over Cloud._

_They had been in the same squad since Cloud joined Shinra so either Roger’s was purposely acting as if he didn’t know his name or he never cared enough to learn it until that moment._

_“Yeah.” Cloud hoped if he kept his answers short the man would leave him alone. He knew there was a slim chance the conversation wasn’t going to be confrontational though._

_“You’re the one whose always hanging around that one SOLDIER.”_

_Cloud tensed. He was prepared to have insults thrown at him about himself, but onot about Zack._

_“Why does it matter?”_

_“Well, I was just wondering what you had to do to get him to hang out with you. There’s no way he does it out of the kindness of his heart.”_

_“Fuck off,” Cloud glared and tried to walk around Roger’s but Roger’s took a step to the right to block his path._

_“I think he’s almost as pretty as you. Is sucking cock a prerequisite to joining SOLDIER? Is that what he’s been training you to do? He looks like he might be able to take one just as well as—“_

_Without pausing to think about how outnumbered he was, Cloud pulled his fist back and punched the large man in the face, hard enough to cause him to stumble backwards. Pain radiated in his knuckles but he did his best not to show it._

_He managed to get one more punch in before Roger’s friends joined in._

_There was no way he was going to tell Zack the topic of the conversation was his cock sucking skills._

_Zack watched, trying to hold back a smile, as Cloud tried to either think of a believable lie or tell him as little as possible. He jerked his head to the side when he heard a noise so quiet, only someone with Mako enhanced hearing could detect it._

_“I still want to know what happened so you’re not off the hook yet but we need to get you out of here before someone else notices you.”_

_Without warning, Zack grabbed Cloud’s arm, threw it over his shoulders, and got him to his feet._

_“W-what what are you doing?” Cloud stammered._

_Once Cloud was on his feet, Zack took his hand in his and pulled him into the room closest to them which happened to be an empty conference room. Cloud’s face warmed when he realized how warm and firm Zack’s grip was and how his fingers lingered when he released him. He leaned against the edge of a large conference table while Zack closed the door behind them._

_The lights were off in the room but the light from the city streamed in from the large wall to wall window providing them with enough light to see each other._

_“Okay, Spike,” Zack said, crossing one arm and resting his other on it while rubbing his chin deep in thought._

_“So here are our options. We get you to the barracks and I try to sweet talk whoever has guard duty tonight into letting you in without ratting you out...Shit, no that won’t work. I’m guessing you share a room with a handful of other cadets?”_

_Cloud nodded._

_“Alright, so...well...alright so that’s a horrible plan.”_

_Cloud couldn’t hold back a snort. He wanted to say “no shit, why do you think they put me in this position in the first place,” but he thought better of it. Now was not the time to be a smartass when Zack was trying to help him._

_Zack had another idea, one he much preferred over his original one but he was hesitant to suggest it. It could definitely be taken the wrong way. He wanted to be his friend and his suggestion may come off a bit strong and could ruin his chance to get closer to the blonde._

_Fuck it._

_He couldn’t think of another way to help him. Worse case scenario Cloud tells him to fuck off and goes back to the barracks on his own. If that happens Zack would be a little upset but at least he could say he tried to help._

_“So...I don’t want to seem...forward…so uh...well….if you want,” Zack stammered._

_Cloud bit the inside of his cheek to hide how amused and shocked he was at how unsure Zack was being over what he was about to say. The SOLIDER was always the epitome of confidence and optimism but at the moment he seemed extremely unsure and hesitant to say whatever it was he was trying to say._

_Zack averted his eyes and placed a hand on the back of his neck nervously. “So uh, my apartment is in the building next door. It shares the parking garage with this building so it’s not that far of a walk.”_

_Cloud swallowed hard and schooled his features to hide his shock at what Zack was suggesting in case he happened to look up at him. Was he really asking him to go home with him? It was an act of kindness, and nothing else. But that didn’t stop Cloud’s heart from beating wildly in his chest._

_“You could come home with me. I mean—” Zack paused. “What I mean is you could sleep with—” Zack paused, sighed, and put his face in his hands. Holy shit what was his problem? Why was he acting so...so...nervous? Cloud was his friend and he wanted to help him. There was nothing else to it so why was he acting as if…_

_“What I’m trying to say is my apartment is nearby so no one would see a cadet out past curfew in the Shinra building where he’s very much not supposed to be. If you want to you can sleep on my couch or in my bed—” Zack’s eyes widened and he rushed out the rest of his words. “ — while I sleep on the couch of course.”_

_When Cloud didn’t respond right away, Zack sighed. “Sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable I just—”_

_“You’re not,” Cloud interrupted before Zack could stammer his way through another sentence._

_“I’m not?” Zack quickly looked up at Cloud’s very amused face. He crossed his arms defensively at how amused he seemed to be over his nervousness._

_“No, you’re not. How would I explain that to the commander though? I’m already screwed but I think stumbling into the barracks in the morning would be worse for me than stumbling there tonight.”_

_“Oh!” Zack said eagerly. “That’s not a problem. I can message him and tell him I ran into you before curfew and asked for your help since we’ve worked together before. He won’t question it. I mean...if he was smart he wouldn’t. Technically I could pull rank,” Zack smiled._

_When Cloud was quiet for a beat too long, Zack started shifting from foot to foot, wondering at what point he crossed a line. The look on Cloud’s face was unreadable. In general Cloud’s stoic personality could be hard to read but after spending time with him on that snowy mountain side, even though it wasn’t very long, he felt like he could get a pretty good read on him, except at that moment._

_“Why?” Cloud asked, brow furrowed with confusion._

_“Huh?” Zack responded, tilting his head like a puppy, driving home why that nickname suited him so well. If Cloud wasn’t so thoroughly confused he might have found it endearing._

_“Why are you helping me? I don’t get why you’re going through so much trouble just for me. I’m no—”_

_“Don’t,” Zack interrupted, raising his hand and stopping Cloud mid-sentence. Cloud’s mouth was slightly open, ready to continue degrading himself but snapped shut._

_“I have a feeling I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it.” Zack’s tone was far more serious than Cloud had ever heard before and he wasn’t sure he liked it, at least not when it was directed at him._

_Zack sighed. The conversation was not going the way he hoped it would. “We’re...we’re friends right?” Zack asked, insecurity radiating off of him, further confusing Cloud. What did he have to be insecure about?_

_“I’d like to think we are,” Cloud mumbled while staring down at the ground._

_“Good,” Zack replied with enthusiasm and a smile. Not a trace of insecurity or unease._

_Cloud lifted his head and smiled slightly at how quickly his mood changed just because he agreed that they were friends._

_“So, we goin back to my place or what?” Zack asked, a smile still plastered on his face._

_Cloud nodded._

_“Okay, let’s mosey.”_

  
  


***********

  
  


Cloud’s eyes slowly blinked open. He stared straight ahead at the wall across from his bed, not bothering to move an inch. There was no point. When he first started having dreams about Zack, he didn’t know who he was. Once he had a majority of his memories back the dreams persisted only they became more painful. Remembering how important Zack was to him meant dealing with the painful sting of loss in addition to the guilt that nearly consumed him for not only forgetting Zack, but for failing him.

  
  


***********

  
  


_“_ Why that memory?”

“Huh?” Zack asked. He stared up at Aerith from her lap where his head was resting. With their fingers intertwined, she slowly removed their hands from the lifestream and from Cloud’s subconscious.

Using Aerith as a conduit, Zack reflected on his past and the memories of Cloud he held dear. At first, he wasn’t sure how he felt about being so exposed, even if it was just Aerith. Having someone see your memories from your point of view was a little unsettling. In the end if it meant getting through to Cloud he'd deal with it.

Once Cloud began to rouse Aerith pulled them out of the memory and away from his restless mind. 

“That memory, why did you want to show Cloud that one? I get why you would show him the memory of when you first met. I also get why you tried to avoid any memories of what happened at Nibelheim and everything after. But there were a few other memories you could have chosen. Why choose one where he was hurt?”

“Well I—” Zack paused and sat up. He brought his legs to his chest and rested his elbows on his knees. Although his feelings for Cloud were obvious, he wasn’t used to speaking so openly about them. He was much better at showing his affection than he was at verbalizing it.

Aerith chuckled quietly. The sound pulled Zack out of his own head. He huffed and feigned irritation. The act only lasted a moment before he was smiling again.

“Well that was the first time I realized I miiiiiight care about him as more than just a friend,” Zack drew out the ‘i’ for emphasis. “I mean...I wasn’t sure or anything. You and I were kind dancing around each other. But this feeling washed over me that I hadn’t felt before. I wanted to protect him from _everything_ . Of course, he would hate that and tell me to leave him alone because he could take care of himself,” Zack chuckled. “But everyone gave him so much shit _all_ the time and even though Cloud’s a hardass and really didn’t need me hovering over him, I wanted to.”

“So you wanted to show him how you felt and how the memory looked through your eyes?”

“Yes, and no. I think things changed for him that night too. He seemed to trust that I genuinely wanted to spend time with him after that. I was nervous as hell and made a fool of myself but I think that worked in my favor.”

“Hmmm,” Aerith responded with a mischievous look on her face.

“‘Hmm’ again? You’re making me nervous.”

  
  


***********

Cloud pushed Fenrir to its limit as he sped through the trees in the Forgotten City, praying to whoever may be listening that Denzel was okay. He couldn’t handle someone else dying because of him.

He had stayed away from Midgar, not only to clear his mind, but to put some distance between him and his friends. Their kind words couldn’t bring him out of the deep depression he found himself in after losing Aerith, defeating Sephiroth, and regaining some of his memories. 

Finding Denzel outside of Aerith’s church had been a welcome reprieve from the chaos in his mind but only for a short time. When he felt himself withdrawing inward he knew he had to get away. The adoration the kid had for him was obvious to everyone. Denzel had lost too much and had been let down too many times. Cloud didn’t want to fail him like he failed everyone else. With that in mind he left Midgar and hadn’t been back in weeks.

Now one of Sephiroth’s remnants, Kadaj, was using Denzel as bait to get to Cloud. Once again, someone he cared about was in danger because of him.

He was already close to breaking. If anything happened to Denzel he wouldn’t be able to power through the loss.

A flash of light momentarily blinded him, forcing him to close his eyes. When he opened them, he was surrounded by white and he could feel someone standing behind him.

Aerith.

Underneath his feet, and as far as the eye can see, were her yellow flowers. 

“You came.” He could hear the smile in her voice. 

Cloud glanced over his shoulder, just enough to see her in his peripheral, but he didn’t fully turn.

“Even though you’re about to break,” she added, placing her hand on his shoulder affectionately.

His eyes landed on her hand. It was surprisingly warm considering she wasn’t actually with him. 

“That’s a good sign. So why did you come?”

Cloud averted his eyes in favor of staring at the ground while contemplating his response.

“Because…I think…more than anything...I want to be forgiven.”

Aerith hummed while considering his answer. “By who?”

Cloud’s lips parted to respond but Aerith continued before he could.

“Forgiven for what? You’ve done nothing wrong, silly.” 

“But you...and Zack he—“

The flower covered ground disappeared as the world around him came back into focus. Three figures with silver hair came into view directly ahead. A fourth smaller figure was frozen in fear directly in front of them. 

***********

_“_ Well that looked painful,” Zack winced. 

He watched as Cloud sped towards the three Sephiroth remnants he had nicknamed the “terror triplets.” To avoid hitting Denzel, Cloud slammed on the brakes and banked right, tipping the bike in the process. He roughly hit the ground and was dragged underneath the bike as it slowed. One of the triplets, Loz, launched himself at Cloud before he could get to his feet.

Aerith opened her eyes, brought her hands to her lap, and stared down at them.

“He hit the ground pretty hard didn’t he?” Aerith sighed.

She didn’t tell Zack she had figured out a way to get through to Cloud in his dreams until she was sure it was something she could do at will and not some fluke incident. Once she figured out how to do it, she helped Zack communicate with Cloud through memories alone. 

Testing her abilities, she connected Cloud again, but not while he was asleep, and not to help him remember his time with Zack. She wasn’t sure if there were limitations to her powers and she needed to ensure she could reach out to Cloud when necessary. Something big was about to happen and Cloud would need all the help he could get. Possibly help in the form of one last conversation with the person he loves.

“This fucking sucks,” Zack huffed.

Aerith snorted. “I don’t understand how your language has gotten worse since you’ve been dead with nothing but the lifestream and me for company.”

Zack laughed but there wasn’t much humor in it. 

“Sorry. I’m just...I usually try to stay optimistic and hopeful. Time in Hojo’s lab and everything that happened after kinda took the pep out of my step. Still, I thought watching over Cloud would somehow give me closure, seeing that he was okay. It’s all I worried about for a year but I’m definitely not getting any closure and I feel helpless. Even more helpless than I felt while on the run with my catatonic best friend slung over my shoulder. I think...sometimes I think it might just be better if I crossed over. I’m not really—“

“Listen here Zackary Fair!” Aerith snapped. 

The stern, almost aggressive, tone of her voice slightly startled him. He had never heard her sound so serious and he immediately thought back to the numerous times Angeal used the same tone to scold him for something he had done.

Zack swallowed hard, sat up straight, and gave Aerith his undivided attention.

“No more negativity out of you! Regardless of what happened, that is not who you are. Fuck Hojo and what he did!” She frowned and pointed her finger at him while chastising him.

Zack’s eyes widened. He had never heard Aerith swear. Hadn’t she just scolded him for it? A small part of him wanted to call her a hypocrite but his survival instincts told him to keep his mouth shut. 

She was kind of terrifying.

“You scaped. You lasted an entire year with an army hunting you down while Cloud was completely dependent on you. You didn’t give up then and you’re not going to give up now! I know there were times when you felt like you were breaking, just like Cloud does now, but you didn’t. You didn’t because you’re strong. Without you, Cloud would probably still be in that lab, maybe even dead, but he’s not! He’s alive and he needs us and we’re going to do everything we can to make sure we get him through this, just like you got him all the way from Nibelheim to Midgar...well...almost to Midgar.” Aerith took a deep breath.

After exhaling, her furrowed brow disappeared and a smile spread from ear to ear. He knew he had to choose his words wisely or else face her wrath once more.

“I’m not giving up, Aerith,” Zack mumbled. “I would never give up on him. I just don’t know how to help him from here. He’s blaming himself for everything and he thinks I saved him out of some act of kindness. You’ve seen his mindset. He still doesn’t understand why I died to protect him. At this point I’m not sure if my feelings for him would make things better or worse. I’ll do anything to help him. Just...tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“That’s the Zack Fair I know and love!” Aerith clapped her hands excitedly. 

Zack laughed, a genuine, deep, laugh. “Alright, what do you think I should do?” Zack asked as he got to his feet. He began to pace but thought better of it and started doing squats instead.

“I need one more memory. A significant one. Even if it’s a little painful but...painful in a good way.”

“Painful in a good way? Hmm,” Zack continued his squats but stared straight ahead, not focusing on anything particular as he thought about his time with Cloud.

“It has to be an important one. You have to _really_ make it count.”

One memory came to mind and it wasn’t exactly one of Zack’s proudest moments. It might actually be one of his lowest. He just hoped, in Cloud’s eyes, the memory would be “painful in a good way” and not just painful in general.

***********

With the unexpected help from Vincent, Cloud managed to get Denzel away from Kadaj and his brothers before they fled. He wouldn’t be able to get back to Midgar as quickly as he could alone, but that didn’t matter. Rescuing Denzel took priority and once he had, a little amount of weight was lifted off his shoulders, but only a little. 

The battle was far from over.

Denzel stood off to the side, avoiding Cloud and watching Vincent warrily. Cloud had no idea how to take care of a kid, he still felt like a kid himself in a lot of ways. He went into the mako tank when he was sixteen and was pulled out four years later. During the time most people his age would mature into adults, he was floating in a tank of poison. Yet, a part of him understood how the boy felt and regardless of how unequipped he was to be responsible for another person, he felt like he needed to try.

Knowing the talk with Denzel would likely happen when they were alone, Cloud approached Vincent first. 

“The battle is far from over,” Vincent said in the deep, foreboding tone he had come to expect.

“It hasn’t really even started yet,” Cloud sighed.

“Do you know what they want?” 

“Jenova...Sephiroth...me.” Cloud ran his hand through his hair. He was so tired.

“So the usual then?” 

Silence hung in the air as Cloud’s mind slowly realized Vincent Valentine had attempted to make a joke.

“Did you...did you just make a joke?” Cloud asked, incredulously. If it had been under different circumstances he might have laughed.

“Never speak of this again. I’ll be there for the battle.” With his arm extended, Vincent wrapped his cape around himself and seemingly vanished.

Cloud stared up at the crimson swirl as it faded into the night sky. When it was almost out of sight, he turned his attention to Denzel. The boy was no longer standing off to the side, avoiding him. Instead, he was standing next to him and staring up at the sky, watching Vincent as well.

“That guy is really weird,” he mumbled.

Cloud snorted “You have no idea.” 

Cloud walked towards Fenrir with Denzel close behind him. Once next to the bike, he lifted him onto the seat and climbed on in front of him.

“Hold on tight. We’re going to go fast. Ready?”

Denzel’s arms wrapped around Cloud’s waist tightly. He didn't hear his response but he felt him nod against his back. Without another word the two sped to Midgar.

***********

_Zack wasn’t sure how often Cloud was aware of his surroundings during the year they were on the run. He retained some of the stories he had told him about his life but Zack liked to talk. Knowing Cloud wasn’t going to respond and might not even be capable of listening didn’t stop him from doing so. After a while talking to Cloud was more for his benefit than Cloud’s._

_The silence would have been the end of him. It would have made him feel like he was carrying around a corpse. Taking care of Cloud was what motivated him to keep moving._

_He had plenty of low points throughout that year and he hoped Cloud hadn’t been conscious during any of them, with one exception. It was another one sided conversation in the dark but it was significant._

_While en-route to Midgar, Zack stumbled upon a small town he had never heard of, tucked away and off the beaten path. For once luck was on his side because the town had a small bed and breakfast and there was a room available._

_The bed and room in general was small and definitely not meant for two adult men, even if one was a bit smaller than the other._

_Needless to say, fitting the two of them on a bed meant for a toddler was preferable to another night on the hard, cold ground with his back against a tree or a cave wall._

_Not only did they get to sleep with a roof over their heads but they had the ability to take a warm bath and eat a hot meal, one that he didn’t have to hunt for. It was the first time in almost a year that Zack got to use warm water to clean himself instead of cold splashes to all the main body parts while standing in the middle of a river._

_For the first time in almost five years, if he counted the time they spent in Hojo’s lab, Zack was comfortable and content. Which meant there was something wrong, there had to be._

_Despite being extremely comfortable in bed next to Cloud, he couldn’t sleep._

_He tried not to sour the evening with his negative thoughts but a deep sense of foreboding was growing as they neared Midgar. The SOLDIER in him couldn’t ignore the feeling, not completely anyways._

_There had been no sign of Shinra for weeks which was the longest he’d gone without fighting or running and hiding. There was no way they would suddenly stop searching for them. They were too valuable and too dangerous. If Sephiroth’s crimes were made public it would severely damage Shinra’s public image and to his knowledge they were the only two left alive that knew._

_There was a long stretch of open desert they needed to cross to reach Midgar and Zack was dreading it. If the Turks showed up in one of their helicopters they’d have nowhere to hide. He considered attempting the trek under the cover of nightfall but they’d never make it all the way to Midgar by sunrise._

_Zack was hoping they’d be able to hitch a ride with someone but to do that they’d have to go during the day._

_As dread slowly washed over him, Zack pulled Cloud into his chest, rested his chin on top of his head, and ran his hand through his unruly blonde hair._

_“I really hope you’re still with me sunshine. I have to get a few things off my chest before tomorrow. I don’t know if you can hear me or if you’ll remember this but I need to say it anyways,” Zack paused and took a deep breath._

_“We’re so close to Midgar, Cloud. Tomorrow is the homestretch and I...I realized I have no idea what to do once we get there. I’ve been so focused on keeping us alive that I haven’t thought about it much ya know? Aside from talking to Aerith, I—”_

_Zack’s hand froze in Cloud’s hair and he sighed. When he first discovered how much time had passed while they were in Hojo’s lab, he panicked. All he thought about was Aerith but as time went by she wasn’t on his mind as much as he thought she’d be. He wasn’t sure if the guilt he felt was because of his unexplained absence or if he felt guilty because his feelings had changed while they were apart._

_As he normally did when he was anxious in the middle of the night, Zack bent his head down slightly and pressed his nose to Cloud’s still damp hair._

_When they first escaped Hojo’s lab Zack had to keep Cloud close to keep him safe. He tried not to invade his personal space too much but it became a necessity. After sleeping with one eye open for months to ensure Cloud was safe, it became a habit. He couldn’t sleep without having Cloud within arms reach. Once in Midgar he might have to and it frightened him. The anxiety that coursed through him at the thought of sleeping in separate rooms or even parting ways once in Midgar nearly brought him to tears._

_“You might wake up and decide you’re sick of me and want to go off on your own, which is okay. I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me just because of...well because of everything. I just want to make sure you’re safe and happy and if going our separate ways will make you happy then...then that’s what we’ll do.”_

_Zack swallowed hard, hoping it would make the tightness in his throat go away. He needed Cloud to know he wasn’t obligated to stay with him. Crying at the mere thought of him leaving wasn’t going to help get that point across._

_“What I’m going to say is probably going to make all of that sound like complete bullshit but I’ve still gotta get it out,” Zack chuckled quietly._

_Zack could picture Cloud’s cheeks reddening while he finally confessed his feelings. He could practically hear him saying “You’re right, everything you said sounds like complete bullshit.” It would either be that response or the look of utter confusion on his face and after a minute of uncomfortable silence he’d finally mumble “why?”_

_“I don’t know why I needed to be stabbed, imprisoned, experimented on, and hunted down to realize how I feel. I guess everything that’s happened has really put shit into perspective. I’ve always cared about you Spike, but I never realized how much. I never realized exactly how far I’d go to keep you safe, and not just because you're my best friend, but because you’re_ you _.”_

_Zack stared out the window behind Cloud, focusing on his relaxed breaths and the way they felt against his collar bone each time he exhaled. The soothing sound helped him focus on everything he wanted to say and made it easier to do so._

_“You’ve needed me to survive but at some point I started needing you just as much. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. I know you well enough to know that if something happens to me you’re going to drown yourself in guilt. You’re going to say it’s your fault because without you dragging me down I could have gotten away faster. You’d tell me I should have left you behind. Well tough shit, sunshine. Regardless of how things have played out or how they’re going to play out, I don’t regret it and I never will.”_

_Zack paused, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. “I don’t know if you’re listening and if you are I don’t know if you’ll even remember any of this once you’re better, and you_ will _get better. I just...I just want to tell you...I just need to tell you that...that I love you.”_

_Lowering his head slightly, Zack placed a chaste kiss to Cloud’s forehead then tucked the blonde underneath his chin once again._

_He was finally dozing off when he felt it. A barely noticeable movement against his chest where Cloud’s hands were resting._

_Zack's eyes snapped open but he stayed still. He had gotten his hopes up before, thinking he felt Cloud move only to realize he had imagined it._

_It wasn’t until fingers curled into his shirt did he gasp and lean away from Cloud, just enough to see his face._

_“Cloud?” Zack whispered as he scanned the blonde's face. Cloud stared up at him, blinking multiple times. Zack was so happy he thought he might cry._

_“Holy shit, Spike! Holy shit! You’re awake! I mean…kinda…you might still be out of it and you might forget this even happened but damn! This is the most you’ve moved in almost a damn year! If this bed was a little bigger, and I knew I wouldn’t break it, I’d be totally jumping up and down right now.” Zack smiled ear to ear._

_It was the first time he genuinely felt happy since Nebelheim. He cupped Cloud’s face with his hands and stared into his eyes. They seemed clear, alert, and not unfocused and staring straight ahead._

_Zack didn't say anything more at first. He was perfectly content laying in silence and watching Cloud’s eyelashes flutter against his freckled cheeks. Although his face was expressionless, his eyes conveyed so many emotions, mostly confusion, anxiety, and frustration. He could understand why he might be confused and anxious but he had no idea what could be frustrating him._

_“You have no idea how happy I am to see you, I mean,_ really _see you,” Zack whispered and pressed his forehead against Cloud’s._

_When the fingers in his shirt curled again, Zack leaned away._

_“What’s wrong? Aside from the mako poisoning, and being wanted fugitives, and the shitty living conditions we’ve dealt with for a year,” Zack chuckled. “Shit, you probably can’t tell me what’s wrong still and you can’t move much so charades is out.”_

_Cloud stared up at Zack, glanced down at his lips, then glanced back up._

_Under normal circumstances Zack would know what that look meant and he wouldn’t need to be told twice. Under the current circumstances well, it could mean a variety of things._

_“I— I don’t know if that look is suggesting what I think it is.”_

_Cloud’s fist clenched again. For someone who's been catatonic for a year, his grip was surprisingly strong._

_“Jeesh, so demanding already and you can’t even talk yet,” Zack smirked. He desperately wanted the current interaction to be real, a sign that Cloud was going to come back to him._

_“Alright, blink once for no and twice for yes, okay?”_

_Cloud blinked twice._

_“Does your hair resemble a baby chocobo’s?” Zack bit his bottom lip to stop himself from laughing as he imagined the scowl Cloud would be directing at him if he could move._

_Cloud blinked once and Zack almost yelled with excitement._

_“Do you...do you want me to kiss you?” Zack whispered, rubbing his thumbs along Cloud’s jawline._

_Two slow blinks._

_Zack’s pulse accelerated at an alarming rate and he hoped if Cloud’s senses were enhanced he couldn’t hear it._

_“Is the sky purple?”_

_One blink._

_“Did I grow up in Midgar?”_

_One blink._

_“Do you want me to kiss you?”_

_Two blinks._

_“Did Kunsel give me the scar on my cheek?”_

_One blink._

_“Do you want me to kiss you, sunshine?”_

_Two blinks._

_Zack’s breath hitched. He didn’t expect Cloud to be so aware of what was going on when he first moved his hand and he certainly didn’t expect him to be asked to be kissed. He stared back at Cloud, eyes searching for any sign he was imagining things, but he saw none._

_Hesitantly, he leaned closer and lightly pressed his lips against Cloud’s. There was no heat behind it, nothing suggestive, but it was enough to convey how much Zack cared for him_

_Reluctantly, Zack pulled away and stared back at Cloud whose eyes had closed for the kiss. He slowly opened them and refused to look away. Zack pressed his hand against Cloud’s chest and was delighted to feel his pulse was racing just as fast as his._

_“I’ve wanted to do that for a while. Of course, things were way different than I imagined it. When I imagined kissing you, you were able to move and make fun of me for being nervous but I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me.”_

_Cloud’s fist tightened around his shirt and Zack chuckled._

_“Do you want me to kiss you again?”_

_Cloud immediately blinked twice and Zack’s chuckle turned into a full blown laugh._

_“Sorry, sunshine. As much as I’d love to, I refuse to make out with you when you can’t even talk ro me. That’s all you’re getting until you can stick your tongue in my mouth the way I plan to stick mine in yours._

_The small amount of moonlight streaming into the room was enough for Zack to see Cloud’s cheeks turn pink. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He was tugging on his shirt, demanding kisses, and blushing. They were communicating even though it wasn’t verbal yet._

_Cloud really was going to be okay._

_He squeezed Zack’s shirt until it was close to ripping which only amused him further._

_“We need to go to sleep, at least a little bit. You heard what I said, about tomorrow?”_

_Two blinks._

_“Did you...did you hear everything I said?” Zack asked hesitantly, nervous over what Cloud would say about his confession._

_Two blinks.._

_“Do...do you hate me?” Zack whispered._

_One blink._

_This time Zack’s eyes really did fill with tears. Not wanting to embarrass himself even more than he already had, he kissed Cloud on the forehead once more and pulled him back into his chest._

_“Get some sleep, Spike. Tomorrow is going to suck but once we get to Midgar, we’ll be free. We’ll be free, we'll be safe, and we’ll be together. Nothing else matters.”_

***********

_“_ Was that the memory okay? I’m not sure if it qualified as “good pain” but it was the first thing that came to mind,” Zack asked Aerith, as she removed their hands from the lifestream. His eyes widened with shock when he realized she was crying.

“Uh...shit. Was that the bad kind of pain? Fuck. I didn’t—”

“That was the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life,” Aerith cried and wrapped her arms around Zack’s neck to pull him into a hug.

Zack huffed. 

“Well, happy tears are better than sad tears. Do you think that memory will help him?” Zack asked against Aerith’s shoulder.

She nodded and clung to him a little tighter.

***********

  
  


“CLOUD!”

Cloud gasped and blinked rapidly. His eyes swept the area to get his bearings. He was standing next to Fenrir in front of Tifa’s bar. Denzel was clinging to his shirt, shaking it to get his attention and staring up at him, visibly concerned and anxious.

“Are you okay?” Denzel asked with tears in his eyes. Cloud honestly wasn’t sure if he was or not. The last thing he remembered was telling Denzel to hold onto him as they sped to Midgar but he didn’t remember the actual drive. 

The only thing he could recall was a pair of mako infused eyes staring at him in awe, a smile that stretched from ear to ear, and the importance of blinking a specific amount of times when asked a question.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, I just...zoned out for a bit but I’m fine.”

“Then why are you crying?”

Cloud’s brow furrowed and he brought his gloved fingers to his cheek. When he pulled them away they were wet. He _was_ crying.

“I...I don’t—”  
  


“Was it because of Zack or…or because of Aerith?”

Cloud’s eyes widened but before he could ask how he knew, Denzel continued.

“When we shared your room you’d sometimes say their names in your sleep. It was usually Zack but sometimes you’d say Aerith too. When that happened you were usually really sad in the morning,” Denzel mumbled and broke eye contact in favor of staring at the ground.

Cloud wasn’t sure how to respond. He could tell him the truth but he wasn’t sure Denzel needed to know how little control he seemed to have over where his mind wandered lately. He also didn’t think unloading his emotional baggage on a kid was a good idea.

“It’s...it’s hard to explain but I...sometimes I remember things. They’re usually good memories but they still hurt...because—”

“Because they’re gone and you miss them,” Denzel mumbled, barely loud enough for Cloud to hear.

Cloud crouched down until he was at eye level with Denzel. He had been so caught up in his own loss he hadn’t stopped to consider the small boy in front of him had also lost two very important people in his life not too long ago. He didn’t think the kid would understand what he was going through when in reality, he probably understood better than most.

“Exactly.” Cloud tousled his hair the way Zack did to him when trying to brighten his mood. It annoyed the hell out of him but it usually worked.

He smirked when he got the same reaction from Denzel. “Ugh, Cloud,” he groaned and shoved his hand off of his head.

A roar in the distance followed by screams let Cloud know he needed to push aside his grief for now and focus on Kadaj and whatever hell he had released. 

“Get inside. If you think the fight is moving this way you need to run as far from here as you can. Go to the church, it’s usually the safest place to be. Just...stay safe. I’ll come find you if you’re not here when I get back.” 

Cloud got back on Fenrir without waiting for a response. Before he could speed away he felt a small hand gripping the back of his shirt again. 

“Promise you’re gonna come back for me?” Denzel asked, nervously.

Cloud nodded once. “I promise.”

Denzel smiled from ear to ear, ran towards the bar, and yelled over his shoulder, “Kick some ass, Cloud!”

Cloud chuckled, shook his head, and sped away from the bar. As attached as Denzel was to him, Cloud couldn’t help but wonder how close he’d be with a certain rambunctious former 1st Class SOLDIER.

***********

“Hey, Zack?” Aerith called out.

Zack was leaning over the lifestream and glaring into it as he watched the events that were unfolding in Edge. His brow furrowed as he tracked Cloud’s movements, yelling out various corrections and suggestions like a coach on the sidelines.

“Zack,” Aerith repeated when she was ignored.

“Hmm?” he responded, only partially paying attention. Kadaj was hurtling towards the ground with Jenova’s remains and Cloud was closing in on him fast.

“Cloud’s future, what do you imagine it looks like?”

Zack's eyes were slowly leaving the lifestream when Cloud collided with Kadaj only to come face to face with Sephiroth. His breath hitched and he got to his feet. His anxiety spiked when he saw the fear in Cloud’s eyes.

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“Zack!”

He froze then turned his attention to her. 

“Answer my question! Cloud’s future. Picture it. What do you see?”

Zack paced while he figured out a response.

“I know Tifa wants him to stick around but after everything that’s happened I can’t picture Spike being happy staying in one place for long, at least not for a while. He’s lonely but I don’t think being around a bunch of people will fix that. Cloud’s never been one to enjoy groups...or social interaction in general,” Zack snorted. 

Living above a bar doesn’t seem like something he would enjoy long term. The kid adores him and I think they’re good for each other. Cloud’s never taken care of anyone on that kind of level before but I know he’ll be great at it once he figures things out.” Zack paused and glanced over at the lifestream. He didn’t like what he saw. He ran his hand through his hair and continued to pace.

Cloud wasn’t fairing well against Sephiroth. Zack so badly wants to see Cloud, to touch him, to talk to him, but not if it meant his death. 

He didn’t notice but Aerith was watching Cloud just as closely as he was. If she didn’t time things perfectly they would miss their chance. Without their help she wasn’t sure Cloud would have the strength to beat Sephiroth again.

Without taking his eyes off of Cloud’s image in the lifestream, Zack continued. “I can see him adding a ridiculous side car to that badass bike of his for the kid. I can see them traveling to places he’s never been before, maybe continuing the mercenary work only on a far less dangerous level since the kid would be with him. They could look for missing cats again or something. I can picture him training Denzel with his sword when he’s older, the way Angeal taught me, and the way I taught him. And eventually, once Cloud has had more time to heal, he’d return to Edge.”

Aerith smiled and stared up at Zack from her place on the side of the lifestream. She patted the grass directly in front of where she was sitting. Taking the cue, Zack sat down in front of her with his knees bent and his elbows resting on them.

“What would change if you were there with him?” she asked quietly.

“Huh?” Zack tilted his head slightly, like a puppy.

“Would any of that change if you were there?”

He knew the answer immediately.

“No. I’d be happy with all that. I wouldn’t mind spending a little time in Midgar, maybe fix your church up a bit. Traveling without being chased, camping for fun and not because your life depends on it, I would have loved that,” Zack smiled woefully.

He glanced at the lifestream as Sephiroth once again impaled Cloud through the abdomen with masamune. Cloud yelled out in pain and grabbed the sword only instead of throwing Sephiroth like he had in the past, _he_ was thrown by Sephiroth.

“Cloud!” Zack gasped and leaned over the edge of the stream.

Cloud continued to fight back only to be cut numerous times throughout his body. Instead of getting to his feet, he barely managed to kneel and stare up at Sephiroth. Zack couldn’t tell if any of his wounds were fatal but he was severely injured. Whether Cloud knew that or not didn’t matter. Sephiroth was hovering above him, ready to strike and he wasn’t moving.

“Get up, Cloud! Get up!” Zack yelled as if he could hear him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to watch what was about to happen.

Aerith roughly grabbed Zack’s hand in hers. “You wanted to help him, right? This is your chance! Make it count!” Aerith said urgently before submerging their hands in the lifestream once again.

***********

“Well, you need a hand with him?” Zack asked with as much confidence and positivity he could muster, praying Cloud believed the act.

“Yes.”

Zack was expecting Cloud to answer right away with something along the lines of “I can do this myself,” or “ I’m not a kid, I don’t need your help.” If not an irritated response for underestimating him, he thought he’d receive a simple “no.” 

Cloud had always gone above and beyond when it came to training. Even though they were friends and not just comrades, he was always trying to prove himself worthy of Zack’s friendship. Pushing himself during training to prove he could keep up with Zack, even though he wasn’t enhanced. He never would have expected Cloud to quickly accept help when it was offered, even in the current situation.

“What?” 

“I said yes. I need help. What are you going to do about it?” Cloud asked, heatedly.

Zack couldn’t gauge his emotions without turning to face him and he wasn’t sure that was a good idea. His _very_ last minute plan was to give Cloud an optimistic pep talk, the way he used to when they trained for his SOLDIER exam. He wasn’t prepared for Cloud to ask for help, or for him to sound so angry about it.

Swallowing hard, hoping it would keep his voice steady, Zack did his best to sound optimistic once again.

“Nah, you got this, Spike. You already beat him once. This should be a cinch!”

He smiled while he spoke for good measure. The smile in his voice had the opposite response he had hoped for, instead of providing Cloud comfort, it pissed him off more.

“You asked me if I needed help and I’m saying I do! How could you possibly help me when you’re dead? Is this the shit people talk about when they say their lives flash before their eyes when they die because if it is, it’s fucking stupid. My life doesn’t have you in it so why the fuck am I seeing this, seeing you, before I die?”

Zack could tell Cloud was angry but only because he preferred anger to tears. The few times he had seen Cloud upset started with an angry rant while throwing a few things. The tears followed after that.

“Your life isn’t flashing before your eyes because you’re not going to die. I won’t let you. I came to remind you of all the reasons you should keep fighting, not to remind you of why you should give up.” Zack took a deep breath then turned to face Cloud. He was still kneeling with his back to him, unsteady and close to falling over.

Zack lifted his sword over his shoulder until it was where it belonged, against his back, between his shoulder blades. He wasn’t sure how Aerith was doing what she was doing but he was grateful.

“I’m so tired, Zack. I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I don’t want anyone to rely on me. I can’t save anyone. I can’t even save myself.”

Unable to stop himself from frowning, he roughly lifted Cloud into a standing position by hooking his arms under his armpits then turning him until they were face to face. Shocked, Cloud’s eyes widened and his lips parted. A moment later, his features softened. There were too many emotions shining back at him through Cloud’s eyes to determine exactly how he was feeling.

“What I’m about to tell you is important. I’d say to make sure you don’t forget but we know how your track record is when it comes to remembering things,” Zack smirked.

With tears in his eyes Cloud snorted, looked down, and shook his head.

“My death was not your fault, and neither was Aerith’s. Shinra is the reason I’m not fighting alongside you right now. Sephiroth is the reason Aerith isn’t yelling and hitting someone with a chair alongside Tifa right now. Not you. Never you. If I had left you in the lab I wouldn’t have made it nearly as far as I did. I told you before I needed you more than you needed me. I thought you were out of it when I said it so you know I was being honest.” Zack placed his finger underneath Cloud’s chin, forcing his head up. Once their eyes met he cradles Cloud’s face in his both hands and wiped the stray tears with his thumbs.

“I meant every single thing I ever said to you, Cloud, and I wouldn’t change a thing,” he whispered and pressed their foreheads together.

“I miss you,” Cloud whispered back. 

“I miss you too, Sunshine, but I’m not going anywhere. I’m waiting for you, and so is Aerith.”

“What do you mean?” Cloud asked, confused.

“It’s hard to explain but that whole ‘crossing over’ shit is legit. We get to choose whether or not we pass on. Angeal waited for me to explain how things work. I can watch over you while I wait for you. Aerith keeps me company. She’s the reason I’m talking to you now. She can do some scary shit now that she's dead. She’s a lot meaner too.”

Cloud chuckled through his tears.

“I’m not going anywhere until you’re by my side. Time’s not really a thing there, even though I can keep an eye on you. There’s no rush. I want you to live a full life. I want you to be all gross and wrinkly when I finally get to see you again. Your hair will be thinning and sticking up in random places. You’re going to look like a freshly hatched chocobo. I can’t wait.”

“You’re an idiot,” Cloud scoffed, barely containing a smile. 

For a second things were the way they used to be, before Nibelheim, before everything fell apart. Zack making dumb comments to make him blush or make him laugh and Cloud responding by telling him to shut up or calling him an idiot. For a second he forgot the reason they were face to face again.

“Yeah, but you love that about me,” Zack smiled. 

The amused look on Cloud’s face vanished. “I do. I never got the chance to say it, but I do. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do. I’m an idiot but I’m not stupid,” Zack smirked.

_“Zack”_

It took every ounce of strength Zack had to hide the distress he felt when Aerith called out to him. Cloud didn’t seem to have heard her which meant Zack had to tell Cloud their time was up.

“Cloud, I have to—”

“No. I said I needed help. You can’t leave yet.” His anger reappeared and so did the tears.

“If I had the choice, you know what I’d choose.”

_“Oh Zaaaaaack,”_ Aerith called out in a sing-song voice.

“I know! Just...give me one more minute please,” Zack begged, looking around, hoping to see Aerith somewhere in the vast emptiness that surrounded them.

“Zack, please,” Cloud pleaded, wrapping his good arm around Zack’s neck and clinging to him as if he could anchor him to the ground by strength alone.

“Cloud, I—”

_“I was going to tell you I think you should stay there with Cloud, but if you’re going to ignore me—”_

Zack tensed. He must not have heard her right. There’s no way he could stay with Cloud. It was impossible, right? 

He hadn’t been lying when he said Aerith was powerful now that she was dead but bringing someone back to life was on a whole different level. If she had that power why didn’t she come back herself?

_“Cloud, can you hear me?”_

Cloud’s head shot up from Zack’s shoulder and he glanced around looking for her. 

“A-Aerith? Where—”

_“You want to be with Zack again, right?”_

“Of course I—”

_“Then get your head back in the game and fight! You can’t be with him if you’re dead and Sephiroth destroys the planet now can you?”_

Cloud couldn’t see her but he could picture her with her hands on her hips as she scolded him.

“I don’t unders—”

_“Do you trust me?”_

‘Of course I do.”

_“Do you trust Zack?”_

“You know the answer to that question.”

_“Then fight!”_ Aerith yelled, passionately. 

Zack pulled away from Cloud and turned him around until he was facing the direction he originally was. He wrapped his hand around Cloud’s and lifted his fusion sword until it was hovering over his shoulder, ready to strike.

Panic coursed through Cloud, not because of the fight he was about to resume, but because of Zack. What if he was unconscious and it was all a dream? 

“Cloud, you know what I told you,” Zack whispered into his ear over his shoulder.

Cloud took a deep breath, expecting the familiar ache in his chest whenever he thought about Zack’s last words, but there was none. Whether it was the small possibility he would somehow see him again, or because of how light he felt after letting go of the guilt he felt over Zack’s death and Aerith’s, it didn’t matter. Instead of the pain of loss or hopelessness, Cloud felt resolve and determination. 

He would not fail Aerith and he would not fail Zack. Cloud was proof he existed. If Sephiroth won, Zack's sacrifice would be for nothing and he refused to let that happen. If he was going to go down he was going to go down fighting, just like Zack did.

“That’s right, I am your living legacy.”

“Damn right,” Zack chuckled. “Kick his ass, Sunshine. I’ll see you soon, I promise.” He kissed Cloud on the cheek and took a step back as the world came back into focus.

Instead of panic, Cloud felt peace for the first time in years.

Not wanting to waste another minute on the one-winged angel, Cloud leapt into the air and met Sephiroth halfway. Their blades clashed violently. The strength each of them had put into the swing caused painful vibrations to travel all the way up Cloud’s already injured arms. Sephiroth jumped backwards, putting distance between them. He smirked at the blonde when his stiff movement made it evident how much pain he was in.

Cloud followed after Sephiroth but landed on what was left of a support beam, high above the ground and the rooftop of the ruined building he had stood on seconds before. Running purely on adrenaline, Cloud launched himself into the air after the former general who still haunted his dreams.

“I pity you. You just don’t get it at all,” Cloud sneered, as he slowly gained momentum. “There’s not a thing I don’t cherish!”

Sephiroth chuckled darkly, amused at the determined look on the small blonde’s face as he closed the distance between them. Cloud lifted his fusion sword and spun it above his head until blue blames emanated from the large blade. Knowing this was his last chance to save everyone, to redeem himself for the ones already lost, Cloud attacked.

Once again the two blades clashed violently. Sephiroth's delicate features began to glow a vibrant blue as the light from Cloud’s sword intensified inches away from his face. 

To Sephiroth’s surprise, Cloud released his sword and backed away from him. The glowing blue blade separated into several pieces and the lack of resistance caught him temporarily off guard. Cloud launched himself above him and grabbed one of the hovering blades before bringing it down on him. 

His unexpected agility made it impossible to avoid as Cloud brought each part of his blade down on Sephiroth, slicing him repeatedly. The fusion sword returned to Cloud’s waiting hand, once again complete, no longer in pieces. With what was left of his strength, Cloud rose above Sephiroth and brought his blade down on him. He roughly landed on what was left of the building’s rooftop after running the blade straight through the man who was once his hero.

“Stay where you belong, in my memories,” Cloud said, staring up into the sky, watching as Sephiroth slowly began to disintegrate. 

The man glared down at him. “I will _never_ be a memory.” A large black wing wrapped around him before he disappeared in a flurry of feathers. As they scattered in the wind, the last of the adrenaline that had been fueling Cloud’s body for what felt like hours, finally left him.

Exhausted in every way possible, Cloud roughly fell backwards onto the ground, wincing when rubble dug into the cuts on his back. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get off of the roof but he knew for a fact he wasn’t going to have the strength to do it on his own.

_“And what do you think you’re doing?”_ Aerith’s voice rang out around him once again. 

Startled, Cloud quickly sat up, gritting his teeth and hissing as the pain from each of his wounds slowly became more evident. He groaned and slowly leaned back onto the concrete once again.

“Well, I was planning on blacking out in a couple of seconds, why? Is there something else I should be doing?” 

As much as Cloud wanted to speak to Aerith, he was having trouble keeping his eyes open. He just hoped the sudden and intense drowsiness he felt was simply due to exhaustion and not blood loss. His eyes were closed for no more than two seconds when Aerith spoke again.

_“I thought you had better manners than that, Cloud. It’s rude to keep people waiting. Last time he fell through the roof he was out cold for about 30 minutes. If I had to guess I’d say you have about…15 left.”_

Cloud’s eyes snapped open and a new rush of adrenaline coursed through his veins.

“Zack? How do I— where?” Cloud asked as he got to his feet and picked up his sword. “Aerith?” Cloud called out. “Shit,” he mumbled under his breath when he didn’t get a response. “How the hell am I going to find him? Where is—”

***********

After an excruciating climb through an extensive amount of rubble, Cloud managed to get to Fenrir and speed to Sector 5. 

If he was in better shape he would have run up the steps and bolted through the doors. Instead, he hobbled and limped up the stone steps, taking deep breaths as each lift of his legs tugged on the deep cuts on the lower half of his body.

He placed both hands on one of the large doors, ready to push it open, but paused. Instead, he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against it.

What if he misunderstood Aerith? What if Zack wasn’t physically waiting for him? Seeing him and speaking to him during his fight with Sephiroth had given him the strength he needed to power through but would that strength stay with him if he opened the doors only to an empty church? He’d like to say it would, that he wouldn’t revert to the person he was a few days ago but he honestly wasn’t sure whether or not that would be true.

_“Well what are you waiting for?”_ Aerith asked. He slowly opened his eyes and watched as a small, delicate hand moved past his shoulder and slowly pushed the door open. 

“Aerith,” Cloud whispered. When he turned his head she was gone but the door was cracked open.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door the rest of the way open and scanned the large room. Nothing was out of place. The lantern and bedroll he had used the last time he was there was still in the same spot. His eyes landed on Aerith’s large patch of flowers growing in the center of the church.

They had grown substantially since Aerith last tended to them and a part of him felt guilty for not caring for them like she had. Knowing now that Aerith was watching over him meant he was going to have to learn a lot about flowers and soon. 

Cloud dropped his head and stared at the ground. The disappointment he felt was so strong he felt it in his bones but he was too tired to do anything but sigh. He was sure he’d have plenty of time to replay the day's events after he rested. At the moment he had something more important to do and that was not to bleed out.

Unsteadily, he turned back towards the door but froze when there was movement out of the corner of his eye.

As quickly as he could in his condition, Cloud limped towards the center of the church. As he approached, a large black mass came into view in the center of Aerith’s flowers. He pushed through the pain and quickened his pace when he heard a groan and saw an elbow appear. 

***********

Zack felt like he had crashed through the roof of Aerith’s church again. If the familiar smell of the flowers surrounding him was any indication, that’s exactly what happened. He groaned and pressed one of his hands flat on the ground, and attempted to push himself up. He thought better of it when his muscles burned as if he just finished an intense workout.

Cursing to himself he collapsed back on the ground. 

“You didn’t tell me you were gonna drop me through the roof again,” Zack said, face first in the dirt, surrounded by flowers.

_“Beggars can’t be choosers,_ ” Aerith chuckled, her voice echoing through the remains of her church.

“What the hell?” Zack said as he yawned, inhaling a mouthful of dirt in the process. “Why am I so tired? I’ve been dead for a couple of years now.” he coughed.

_“For someone who was just brought back to life you’re awfully whiney.”_

“I’ll stop talking now.”

At some point Zack dozed off. The sound of the large church doors slowly opening brought him back to consciousness but not enough to move much, just enough to be aware of his surroundings. No matter how much time had passed, dead or alive, his SOLDIER instincts were something he’d never be able to get rid of.

He wanted to get up to see who was hovering by the door but he couldn’t do more than press his hand to the ground and groan as every muscle in his body screamed at him to stay still again.

The heavy footsteps suddenly quickened. Zack hoped whoever it was wasn’t an enemy. It would be pretty shitty to die an hour after being brought back from the dead.

The dirt around him shifted roughly as someone collided with the ground next to him. Before he could turn his head to see who decided to join him, arms lifted him into a sitting position. One arm remained across his shoulder blades to hold up his upper body. The other arm wrapped around his front, squeezing him tightly.

Zack cracked open an eye and looked up at a heavily beat up Cloud. Face bruised and bleeding.

“Zack.” Cloud whispered, eyes welling with tears.

“You look like shit. I hope the other guy looks worse,” Zack smiled.

“Yeah asshole, he looks a lot worse,” Cloud smiled.

“Good, good. I’m gonna take a nap,” Zack leaned into Cloud’s chest, yawned, and passed out.

Cloud felt himself slowly losing consciousness as well. “That...that sounds like a great idea,” Cloud whispered. His eyes slowly closed before he fell backwards onto the ground, Zack still tightly in his arms.

A warm hand on his forehead slowly brought Cloud back to consciousness. Aerith was kneeling next to them and hovering over him. His lips parted, preparing to thank her for whatever it was that she did to bring Zack back but it took too much energy. 

_“Take care of each other, okay? And fix my roof!”_ She chuckled. The last thing he felt before losing consciousness was a gentle kiss to his cheek.

***********

“Zack!” Cloud woke with a start. 

He sat up quickly and winced when his muscle protested the sudden movement. His eyes wildly moved from one side of the room to the other but stopped once he found what he was looking for.

Zack was sitting directly to his left in a small wooden chair, smiling. He looked the exact same way he did the last time he saw him only whole and breathing.

Relaxed as always, he crossed his arms over his chest. The sleeves of the plain black t-shirt he was wearing protested the movement when his biceps stretched them to the limit. Cloud assumed it was his shirt he had squeezed into. The grey sweatpants he wore were definitely too big to be his and a part of him momentarily wondered where he got the clothes and how long he had been unconscious for.

The clothes he wore made it look like they were hanging out in Zack’s apartment, preparing to watch a movie and order takeout, something they had done more than once before everything went to hell.

No one would ever guess the man next to him had been dead for two years and was suddenly back.

“About time you woke up. You just _love_ keeping me waiting don’t you?” Zack smirked.

Cloud swallowed hard and glanced down. Someone had changed his clothes. He was now dressed similar to Zack only in all black.

“How long was I out for?” 

“A day.”

Cloud nodded. 

“Who changed my clothes?”

“I did.” 

Cloud glanced up at Zack but averted his eyes.

“I’ve seen you naked more times than I can count, Cloud.

“What?” Cloud croaked, eyes wide and cheeks on fire. He quickly cleared his throat and looked away.

Zack sighed. “What? You thought I let you go a year without bathing? We slept side by side at night and I carried you during the day. No way in hell was I going to do that if you smelled.”

He hadn’t really thought about all that Zack had to do to keep him alive while they were on the run. He definitely hadn’t thought about _that_ aspect of it.

Fidgeting in his chair, Zack started to worry when Cloud stayed quiet. “Spike...you know...you know it wasn’t like—”

“I know. I know,” Cloud interjected. He would have been completely fine never discussing the intricacies required when dragging a catatonic person around for a year. 

Of all the things to discuss once they were finally together, bathing had not been one of them. “I just...I just hadn’t thought about that.”

The two lapped into an uncomfortable silence. Zack ran his hand through his hair, working up the courage to say something to ease the awkward tension between them but Cloud beat him to it.

“You’re really here?” he whispered.

“Yep. You’re stuck with me, probably forever.”

There were too many things Cloud wanted to say, too many emotions to properly convey in words. Instead, he scooted across the bed until he was pressed against the wall and lifted the blanket. Taking the hint, Zack got up from the chair and slid into bed next to him.

As if it was yesterday, Zack slid his arm under Cloud’s head and pulled him in close to his chest. Without hesitation he buried his face into his hair. It still smelled like dirt and sweat but he didn’t care, it was the best thing he had smelt in years. He was alive, and Cloud was alive, and he was holding him. Nothing else mattered.

They laid in silence, listening to each other's steady breathing for minutes before Cloud pulled back and stared up at Zack. The former SOLDIER brought his hand up to Cloud’s cheek and lightly rubbed his thumb along his bruised cheekbone, smiling when Cloud winced. It was nice to see him physically respond to his touch. 

“How do I know this isn’t a dream?” Cloud whispered, as if afraid he might speak it into existence or break whatever spell he was under. “The last time I saw you or Aerith it was all in my head. How do I know this isn’t too?” 

Zack’s brow furrowed. “Well technically when you saw us it was real. We were reaching out to you. Everything that was said was actually us. We were trying to let you know everything would be okay but It felt like we only made things worse.” 

“The dreams...the dreams I had about us...were those you too?”

“Mmhmm. I wanted you to remember something positive instead of your scattered memories of things that took place after Nibelheim. I had hoped remembering some of the time we spent together might make you feel better.”

“How did Aerith bring you back? I don’t understand how this is possible,” Cloud mumbled.

“When I asked her she said something about Ancients and the lifestream owing you one. She wouldn’t explain. She literally kicked me out of the afterlife by throwing me into the lifestream. I thought it would send me to wherever Angeal was, but nope. Instead I was thrown back into the slums.”

“Why didn’t she come back? She’s all alone now isn’t she?”

“I asked her that too. She said she’s where she’s meant to be and she’s happy. You know once she sets her mind to something there’s no talking her out of it.”

Cloud tipped his head down and stared straight ahead and Zack’s shirt. His hands were pinned between their bodies. He flattened his palm against Zack’s heart and closed his eyes, listening to the steady beat. A wave of dejavu washed over him and a memory of being in the exact same position under very different circumstances came to mind.

He slowly closed his fist, grabbing a handful of Zack’s shirt in the process. Zack’s breath hitched at the familiar action.

Cloud looked up at him as Zack looked down on him. The two maintained eye contact as the tension between them grew. Cloud’s eyes darted between Zack’s eyes and his lips which were a breath away. Cloud gripped his shirt tighter, hoping to get the message across.

Zack swallowed hard. “Do you want me to kiss you, Sunshine?” he asked, bringing his hand up to the side of Cloud’s face to cradle it. Cloud’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest when he slowly blinked twice.

Less than a second later Zack was kissing him.

What he had seen and relieved in his memory was nothing compared to the feel of Zack’s lips against his. The deep sense of relief was overwhelmed by the intense feeling of lust that hit him so hard it nearly took his breath away. Zack had far more experience kissing than Cloud did but it didn’t matter. As if in sync the two quickly adjusted to the other. Zack held Cloud’s face close and Cloud titled his head to the side, slotting their lips together even further.

Knowing what to do, but never having actually done it himself, Cloud hesitantly slid his tongue across Zack’s bottom lip, requesting access to his mouth. Zack’s breath hitched but he responded instantly, parting his lips and welcoming Cloud’s tongue. Once that was done Cloud had no idea what else to do and simply followed Zack’s lead as he slid his tongue around his own.

Before Cloud could stop the noise from escaping, he moaned quietly into Zack’s mouth and pressed himself even closer to him, their bodies flushed against each other leaving very little to the imagination. Cloud felt like his body was on fire, warmth pooling in one area more than the rest.

Zack pulled away slightly, sucked Cloud’s bottom lip into his mouth and gently bit down. Much to his horror, his hips bucked against the older boy. This time it was Zack’s turn to moan. When he opened his eyes to look at the blonde, what he saw was something he’d never forget. Cloud’s face was flushed all the way up to his ears. His lips were red and swollen. His eyes heavily lidded with lust.

When he pulled away, Cloud chased his lips with his own and tried to press himself even closer to Zack but paused and winced when one of his wounds was stretched too tight by the movement. Hoping he missed the reaction, Cloud ran a hand through Zack’s hair and tugged his face back down to him.

Zack obeyed but chuckled against his lips before slowly pulling away again. Irritated, Cloud tried to pull him back down but Zack stopped him by placing one hand on his hip to hold him back. Cloud frowned and glared at Zack which made the former SOLDIER smile fondly.

“I didn’t miss the way you winced, Sunshine. You know as well as I do how bad I want this, but—”

“Then shut up and keep kissing me,” Cloud huffed.

Zack had to bite his bottom lip to hold back a laugh, knowing it would only piss off the blonde more.

“That’s the thing, we both want to do more than kissing and that ain't gonna happen until you’re healed up.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Cloud groaned and leaned away from him, as if the proximity alone was too tempting. Zack chuckled and pulled him back into his chest. Cloud grumbled but made no effort to pull away.

“I fully intend to pound you into the mattress at some point and I’d prefer it if you were in tip top shape. Besides, how can I bend you—”

Cloud quickly placed his hand over Zack’s mouth. “Alright! Alright, I get it!” Cloud huffed, his cheeks slowly redenning again. 

Zack laugh was muffled behind Cloud’s hand. He rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he said as he pulled his hand away.

“Yeah, but you love it.”

“Yeah...I do.”

***********

Two months later:

For the first time in years the walk up to the familiar dirt cliff wasn’t painful. In fact, it was strangely beautiful. Maybe it was because of how vastly things had changed since the last time he was there. Maybe because, for the first time, he wasn’t visiting alone. He wasn’t sure but he was grateful he could drive Fenrir by the area without his chest painfully tightening while reliving the memory.

In the short amount of time that had passed since the last time he had visited, yellow flowers grew at the edge of the cliff. The patch was coincidentally in the exact spot Zack once took his last breath, as if trying to cover up the death with life. 

It was a very Aerith thing to do.

The buster sword stood in the middle of the patch of yellow. The flowers surrounding it made the large weapon seem far less intimidating than usual. The sword that three different men held to symbolize their dreams, hopes, and honor, also symbolized rebirth. Life in place of death. New reasons to have hope, new dreams to create.

Zack approached Cloud from behind and joined him at his side. The blonde didn’t acknowledge him in favor of staring at the yellow flowers.

The former First Class SOLDIER, placed his hands on his hips, and shook his head. “Boy oh boy.”

“What?” 

Cloud watched as Zack left his side and approached the familiar weapon. 

“If Angeal saw this...let’s just say we should be happy he’s crossed over. I don’t know if it’s possible to haunt someone, but he’d find a way,” Zack chuckled.

He placed his hand on the hilt of the sword then glanced over his shoulder at Cloud. As expected, the blonde’s brow was furrowed with confusion.

“Angeal rarely used it and when he had to he used the blunt side. I asked him once, why I never really saw him use it and he said ‘use brings about wear, tear, and rust.’ Zack said in a deep voice, imitating Angeal.

Cloud had only met Angeal one. On his way to the training ground he had passed Zack without realizing it. Once Zack saw him he was accosted and practically dragged to Angeal so he could be introduced. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as Angeal glanced from Zack’s smiling face and his arm across Cloud's shoulders to Cloud’s flushed and nervous face before finally introducing himself. At the time he wasn’t sure what that look meant but now he was pretty sure he had a general idea.

“So if he saw this...well...well I was going to say he’d kick _your_ ass but knowing him he’d probably kick _my_ ass instead.” Zack smiled fondly at the thought, giving the handle of the sword a squeeze.

“I’d rather he kick your ass than mine...he was kind of scary,’ Cloud mumbled. Zack’s smile only grew.

“Nah, he was a big softy. He just hid it well. It took me a while but eventually I wormed my way past his defenses all the way to his heart.”

“You’re like a parasite. You burrow your way in and then refuse to leave. You’re impossible to get rid of,” Cloud smirked.

Zack released the hilt, turned on his heels, and quickly approached Cloud. Before Cloud could respond, Zack placed his hand on the back of his neck, tipped his head up with his other hand, and kissed him roughly. His tongue slipped along Cloud’s bottom lip. The blonde immediately parted his lips for him.. Zack’s tongue entered his mouth and slid along his. Cloud moaned, barely audible for anyone aside from his partner. He slid his hands up Zack’s sides, trailing up to tangle in his hair but before he could, Zack pulled away and took a step back, leaving a very disheveled and red faced Cloud confused and frustrated.

“Is that someone’s grave?” Denzel asked, approaching Cloud from behind. Zack smirked at the redness of Cloud’s cheeks and lips and watched with amusement as he tried to hide how flustered he was before the boy could see his face.

The haze of lust quickly left Cloud’s mind when he realized what Denzel had asked.

Neither one of them ever lied to the kid and they didn’t usually sugarcoat things. He had unfortunately been through a lot in his short life and because of it he was wise for his age. However, there were some things that were better left unsaid. Memories that didn’t need to be remembered.

“No,” Zack responded without breaking eye contact with Cloud. With a look alone they both decided not to burden the boy with details on what made the spot significant.

“If it's not a grave, what is it?” Denzel asked, staring down at the flowers.

“It’s—” Cloud paused, not sure how to respond.

“It’s where a hero started his journey,” Zack finished for him.

The look the two exchanged conveyed all of the love and devotion they had for each other, more than words could ever fully explain.

“I wanna be a hero,” Denzel said, as he stared at the sword with admiration in his eyes. 

Zack’s eyes quickly darted to Denzel. He swallowed hard and watched the small boy reverently place his hand on the sword that was three times his body size. He was so much like Cloud in a way that it was sometimes frightening.

“You do?” Zack asked, surprised.

“Yeah! I wanna be a hero like you and Cloud someday.” Denzel continued staring at the rusting sword as he spoke.

Zack glanced at Cloud. He smirked and nodded once, encouraging Zack to continue. He nodded in return, placed his hand back on the hilt of the sword and curled his fingers around it. With one hard yank, he pulled the sword out of the dirt, gave it a familiar spin, then brought it down to his side. 

Denzel stared up at him, wide eyed and impressed.

“Well, If you want to be a hero you need to have dreams....and honor.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I didn't intend for this to be so angsty but it was unavoidable. Cloud is so damn sad in Advent Children.
> 
> Hopefully this doesn't suck. I've thought about doing a longer alt canon fix it fic that starts during Zack's final stand in Crisis Core. But I don't think anyone would read it, it would be long, it would take a while to finish, and I have a ton of WIP's already. But please let me know what you think about this one!
> 
> Come talk to me on twitter [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sam_ieatboyss) and/or [tumblr](https://sam-ieatboyss.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I desperately need FFVII mutuals, especially Zakkura/Clack shippers.


End file.
